Airplane Etiquette: 20 Things That Need to Stop Right Now
Flying at 35,000 feet doesn’t need to be miserable, I promise
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I've logged enough miles at this point that I've pretty much seen it all when it comes to faux pas while flying.
There was the guy who reclined into my laptop so abruptly that he almost smashed the screen. The college kid who unabashedly took my business class seat because he preferred the window. The person blasting TikToks at full volume without headphones, like the rest of us weren't sitting three inches away.
I started keeping a mental list a long time ago, and it’s gotten so long that I can no longer keep this to myself.
Consider this my public service announcement on all the things we need to stop doing on planes—and yes, I have personally experienced every single one of these.
These aren’t flexes as much as they’re a cry for help. All of them.
This is my running list of the 20 airplane etiquette rules people break most, from gate crowding to seat swaps to the armrest debate. It comes from years of leading Type 2 Travel group trips around the world.
At the Gate
The flight hasn't even started, and somehow we're already failing.
1. Putting your bag on the seat next to you so nobody else can sit there. We see you. Everyone sees you. There are 43 seats at this gate and 190 people on this flight — the math was never going to work. Your backpack did not buy a ticket. Unless the gate area is empty, put it on the floor like the luggage that it is.
2. Leaving a one-seat gap between yourself and the next person so couples and friends can't find two seats together anywhere at the gate. Be a good human, and scoot down (and this goes for airport bars too, while we’re at it). It takes five seconds, and sitting next to a stranger for 30 minutes won’t kill you.
3. Gate crowding. PEOPLE. Please listen to me on this. If you have a ticket and you're at the gate before boarding begins, you will get on the plane. The plane does not leave without seated ticket-holders who are standing right there during boarding. Hovering in the boarding area when you're in group 6 doesn't get you on faster; it just blocks the people who actually need to board first (wheelchairs, families with tiny humans, people with connections) and slows down boarding for the entire flight.
There's a name for this behavior in the frequent-flyer world, and it's gate lice. Don't be gate lice. Sit down until your group is called.
This is what gate lice looks like in the wild
On the Plane
4. Watching videos or listening to music without headphones. This is not your living room. Not one person on this flight wants to hear your TikToks, your game, or your toddler's fourth consecutive hour of Cocomelon at full volume (yes, that’s happened to me too).
Fun fact: United actually updated its official policy in March 2026, and playing audio out loud can now get you removed from the flight or banned from the airline entirely. A pair of headphones costs less than your airport sandwich, and many airlines give them to you to use on flights for free.
If you need recommendations, my carry-on essentials list has you covered, but here are some of my faves:
Apple AirPods 4 - the active noise cancellation on the newest version is incredible, and these are my go-to for taking headphones in and out quickly before boarding or while I work. They last a whole flight if fully charged, charge up quickly, and they take up zero space. Plus, if you drop one between the seat or it flings across the plane, you can learn from my mistake and ping it from your phone instead of crawling around on the ground looking for it with an audience watching.
Bose QuietComfort Headphones - my best friend for long flights. They are comfortable enough to fall asleep with them on, and they will drown out that crying baby or meowing cat in front of you (yes, that happened too).
AirFly - this little thing is the reason I can use my AirPods to watch the seatback movies. It plugs right into the headphone jack, connects to my AirPods over Bluetooth, and saves me from paying for the airline’s crunchy earbuds or digging for a wired pair. It’s tiny enough to live in my carry-on full-time, and it means I never have an excuse to blast audio out loud.
No headphone jack on your AirPods? This little thing fixes that.
5. Taking a full phone call after you've boarded or when you land. On speakerphone too, because apparently we all needed to hear the full conversation from both sides. Your row did not consent to being on a conference call.
Wrap it up before you step on, and if it truly can't wait, that's what texting and airplane wifi were invented for.
6. Standing in the aisle, hovering over seated passengers. I understand you're tall, the flight is long, and your back hurts. Mine too. But posting up at someone else's row with your elbow on their headrest while they try to sleep is not the answer.
If you need to stretch, take a few laps in the galley to burn off some energy.
7. Not deplaning in order. There’s an unspoken rule that you get off the plane in order, from front to back. Shoving your way up from row 34 the second the seatbelt sign dings gets you to baggage claim 2 minutes earlier and makes 180 people side-eye you.
Now, if you have a 25-minute connection and every second counts, say so out loud, politely. Watch the aisle part like the Red Sea. Good travelers will absolutely help you make a tight connection, but we will not help you be first just because you want to be.
8. Putting your carry-on at the front of the plane so it's easy to grab on your way out, while you continue walking to your seat back in row 48. Incredibly convenient for you, but it causes a domino effect for everyone else. People in the front of the plane now need to move backward in the aisle when the plane lands in order to get their bag while everyone else is fighting their way to the front. You see the issue here, right?
Your bag flies where you fly unless there’s literally no other space.
9. Grabbing the seat in front of you every time you get up or sit down. The person in that seat feels every. single. grab. Usually right as they've finally fallen asleep, and occasionally with a ponytail involved. Use the armrest. That's what it's for. And while we're on the topic: the seat back screen is attached to a seat, which is attached to a human, who feels every aggressive jab of your in-flight gaming session.
Please, for the love of God, save the Candy Crush for your phone.
10. Letting your kids kick the seat in front of them. I know traveling with kids is hard, and I mean that — I've watched parents perform actual miracles at 35,000 feet with nothing but fruit snacks, an iPad, and sheer will. Nobody's asking for perfection. We're asking for the attempt. A "hey bud, feet down," a distraction, a shoe check. The person in front will empathize if they can see you're trying, and your little human will one day be an adult passenger flying on their own.
11. Keeping your window shade wide open when the whole plane has gone dark. It's a red-eye. Everyone around you has committed to the bit — eye masks on, screens dimmed, blankets deployed. And then there's you, shade up at full daylight over the Atlantic because you want to see the view, unknowingly blinding someone else across the aisle with a sunbeam.
Do your fellow passengers a favor, and read the room.
12. Bare feet on the seats. The answer is no. It will always be no. Socks exist for a reason, and with that, I highly recommend flying with compression socks for any flights over 3 hours. Your future self (and your seat mates) will thank you.
13. Talking to someone who is clearly wearing headphones. They are wearing headphones, the international symbol for "I am somewhere else right now." If they wanted to chat, they'd take them off. If you’re getting short, one-word answers and a polite smile — that's your cue, not your challenge, to keep a conversation going.
14. Putting a small item — a purse, a jacket, a shopping bag — in the overhead bin instead of under the seat in front of you. Bin space is the most contested real estate in the sky, and it's for bags that don't fit anywhere else. When your little Sephora bag takes up a roller-bag spot, somebody in group 6 could be gate-checking their luggage and potentially missing their connection.
Use your space under the seat for small items if the plane is full. If you can’t make it all fit, start with this carry-on only packing guide.
Passport, eye mask, giant scarf. My whole personality on a red-eye.
The Unwritten Rules Everyone Should Know
15. The middle seat gets both armrests. Let’s settle this right here and now. The window seat gets the wall to lean on and the view. The aisle gets their outside armrest and the freedom to spread into the aisle on occasion.
The middle seat—the most universally detested seat on a plane—gets both armrests. They have literally nowhere else to go, and they shouldn’t have to spend a 4-hour flight squeezed into the middle seat just so you can be more comfortable. This is one of the oldest unspoken rules in air travel, and it somehow still gets violated on every flight.
16. You can’t take someone else's assigned seat because you like it better. This recently happened to me in business class, of all places. I paid extra to sit in business (which I rarely do, by the way), and a drunk college kid was in my seat. Honest mistake, right? Nope. When I politely told him he was in my seat, he looked at me with zero remorse and said he preferred my seat over his.
If you want a different seat, there are legitimate ways to get one. My podcast guest, Ashley, broke down exactly how to fly business class for less, and none of them involve stealing seats.
17. Guilting people into seat swaps when you chose not to pay for yours is not okay. If you didn't pay to sit together, that's a choice you made. The person in the aisle seat who paid for that specific seat does not owe you a middle seat trade. That said — if someone asks you to swap (or you see a young child and parent separated) and it genuinely doesn't affect you to switch, say something.
Being two rows further back is generally not a hardship, and airplane karma is a thing. It will one day pay you back.
18. You can recline, but be thoughtful about it. Hot take: I fully support the recline, and it’s your fundamental right as a passenger. That's what the seat is designed to do, and you're not a monster for doing it. But glance back first. If the person behind you is mid-bite, mid-typing, or holding a full cup of hot coffee, give them a heads up. Recline slowly, like a gentle sunset, not like the overhead compartment just failed.
The difference between "considerate" and "laptop casualty" is one look over your shoulder.
19. Book an extra seat if you need extra space. I'm saying this one with care, because bodies are bodies, some airline seats are ridiculously small, and flying should be possible for everyone. If you know one seat won't be enough space for you, many airlines let you book a second seat or upgrade to a roomier cabin. It's worth a look before your next long-haul, for your own comfort as much as your neighbor's.
20. Enjoy a drink or two, but enjoy six of them somewhere else. A glass of wine at 35,000 feet is one of life's small pleasures, and I'm not here to take that from you (in fact, I’ll give you a cheers in solidarity). But remember the seat thief from rule 16? By the time the crew was prepping the cabin for landing, he was so far gone he couldn't respond to the flight attendant asking him to put his seat up. Pace yourself, chase every cocktail with water, and land as a person the flight attendants remember fondly (or don't remember at all, which is also a win).
Two mini bottles, two cups, zero people carried off the plane.
Airplane Etiquette Questions I Actually Get Asked
What do you do if someone’s in your seat and won’t move?
You can politely tell them it’s your seat. If you aren’t in the mood for a battle, let a flight attendant know, and they’ll handle it.
Is it rude to eat smelly food on a plane?
Kind of. It’s the airplane equivalent of the guy who reheats fish in the break room at work. Ultimately, you can do whatever you want, but be mindful of how close you’re sitting to other people. Think of the one smell you can’t stand, and then imagine being stuck with it for hours with nowhere to go.
When is it polite to get up if you’re in the window seat?
I try to wait until the people next to me are done eating and before they fall asleep. Basically, be considerate of the people you’re climbing over. And if my seatmate gets up, I get up too, so nobody has to move twice.
How do you get a flight attendant’s help without making a scene?
Push the call button or flag one down. They’re usually moving up and down the aisle during boarding, and once you’re in the air, they’re generally prepping in the front or back of the plane for service.
Okay. I've said what I said, and I feel a little better.
If you read this whole list nodding — or gasped out loud at the seat thief — you might be my kind of traveler. And if you've survived something even wilder at 35,000 feet, I want to hear it in the comments below because travel disasters make the best stories (I mean, eventually).
Better yet: come test your excellent plane manners somewhere worth flying to. My upcoming group trips are full of people who board when their group is called, share the armrest, and have never once put a bare foot on a bulkhead.
